Friday, November 6, 2009

Did you hear that?

Jeez, it's been awhile. I really better update this thing.

Long story short: things are mostly okay. Mostly. I think I may be rapid cycling (google "rapid cycling bipolar disorder" for the gory details), and am having a tough time getting completely stable-- whatever the hell that means. Currently, I think I'm in a manic/mixed state, as my moods are generally pretty good, and I sometimes have trouble sleeping. I am getting a ton of exercise (comparatively speaking), and am walking 3+ miles a day. My appetite is good (almost too good), and I am at work most days (even if I am a couple hours late once in a while). My boss says I'm doing okay at my job, and most of my customers seem happy. I've had a few bumps in the road, but nothing that couldn't be cleaned up easily.

In the past few weeks, I've started having minor hallucinations. Nothing too serious-- no voices telling me to kill myself or others. Just a lot of strange audio sensations: music, odd noises, things like that. During a walk a few weeks ago, I thought I saw somebody hiding in the bushes. I've also noticed my hearing is extremely acute-- I swear I can hear a gnat flapping its wings in Oregon. I've never had hallucinations before, even at my sickest, so it's a new sensation for me. My doc has done some minor adjustments of my meds and I'm waiting to see what happens (most med adjustments take 4-6 weeks to kick in).

In other news, my band is playing its first gig in over a dozen years tomorrow night, November 7. We will be playing at least three new songs I've written since June of this year. We've been practicing like mad for it, and I have to say we are sounding really good. We're expecting approximately 30 people, most of whom are close friends and/or relatives. I'm nervous, but I've also never been as prepared for a gig as I am for this one. I've managed to cover every detail, and make contingencies for things that may not go right the first time.

I don't know if things are good or bad right now. They just are. And I can't ask for much more than that.


NerdOneirik said...

Congrats on the gig!! Also... eeps to the auditory hallucinations. Honestly the thought of that terrifies. A couple weeks ago I had this noise shoot through my head that sounded like a radio changing dials. It scared me enough to chase away any thoughts of sleep for the rest of the night.

Anywho. I hope the meds take affect soon. I'm assuming he put you on anti psychotics? Hopefully all will be well in your head soon!

Break a leg at your gig!!!

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